Coping After Sexual Assault brochure
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Sexual assault is a traumatic experience. If you have been sexually assaulted, you may experience a range of feelings and reactions that can be immediate, short-term or long-term.
This topic explains some of the common reactions people experience and offers suggestions for ways of coping with them.
Common thinking: did this really happen? Sexual assault happens to other people, not to me. I don’t know how to feel.
Fear and anxiety can be caused by any/all of the following:
Finding it challenging to trust:
You may feel not in control of what happened, and of what might be happening to you emotionally and physically as a result. You may experience these following:
Having experienced being sexually assaulted, it is common to avoid doing certain things. You may find difficulty with:
You may experience feelings of guilt or self-blame about your own behaviour. For example: blaming yourself for why the sexual assault may have happened.
These feelings may come from thoughts that are based on the many myths relating to sexual assault. It is important to understand your behaviour did not cause the sexual assault. The only person responsible is the person who assaulted you.
You may experience feelings of anger at yourself, the person who did it, or other people, and/or anger at not being taken seriously.
The common reactions mentioned
here are normal and to be expected, given the trauma you have experienced – you
are not going 'crazy'.
It is really important to take care of yourself and have support available should you need it. Remember, people can and do deal with the impact of sexual assault on their life. You will not always feel like this.
After sexual assault you may find your use of alcohol, drugs or other stimulants such as coffee, cigarettes and chocolate can increase. It is important to keep in mind other coping strategies may be healthier and more beneficial.
You may already have ways of coping that work well for you. The following suggestions have been found useful by other survivors of sexual assault:
We know that speaking out about sexual assault and reaching out to social supports is beneficial towards effective recovery. This may mean talking to an experienced counsellor. Counselling can help you with developing an understanding of the nature of the reactions you are experiencing and ways of managing them effectively.
There are many myths about sexual assault, some you may have heard from others when seeking support following the sexual assault.
Myths shift responsibility for the sexual assault from the perpetrator to the person who has been sexually assaulted. They are some of the reasons why many people find it difficult to seek support following a sexual assault.
The person who was sexually assaulted is never to blame. The person who committed the crime of sexual assault is 100% responsible.
There is hope for the future after a sexual assault.
Sexual assault is a traumatic experience. It is an experience during which you have not been in control. Healing can happen by taking back that control.
The quote below was written by a person who has experienced sexual assault:
“Healing is a process with good and bad days. But for every bad day I have now, I have 10, 20, 30 good ones” - Phoenix
(Stepping out of the Shadows: A book about true healing from sexual violence written by survivors for survivors”, Yarrow Place ,2011)